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Chris –
It’s been a long time coming to get you to the studio to do this. I’ll tell you part of why I wanted to do this with you, Stephanie, was because what I saw with you was a hustle that I don’t see from a lot of realtors and you have created a brand through that hustle and as I’ve gotten to know you, I realized, you know, you’re a single mom. You’re helping single mothers. You actually have a mission and, you know, then I was like as I started kind of peeling the layers of getting to know you, I realized that you have a really interesting story that I wanted to, you know, give you a platform to tell it, because I don’t even know that the people that are following you, the people that watch your content, know this back story on you, right?

Chris –
Like you’ve gone from bartender to broke to single mom so I have zero money in my account. I don’t have a place to stay and and then, you know, figure it out. I got to leverage my real estate license and go make some money and now you’re doing probably on the top of your game of most realtors in the valley because of the hustle that you put into it and so I was like, there’s a there’s a really good story. Like, yeah, there’s a story and so let’s do it. So thank you for coming today. And so for those of you who, are listening, I am here with Stephanie, Troy, she’s an Arizona real estate agent. She’s a realtor. She specializes in first-time homebuyers and listings. But she is amazing at what she does because she’s out hustling. Like, if I was going to hire somebody to do my house, I’d want to hire you. Because I know when you put when you put my house on the market, you’re going to get top dollar. So. So let’s talk about you and what’s gotten you here. So thank you for being here. Me Absolutely. So, you know, yeah, let’s start back. Are you ready to jump into this? Sure. Are you nervous at all?

Stephanie –
A little bit.

Chris –
All right, well, I’ll be honest. Yeah. Don’t. Don’t be nervous. I mean.

Stephanie –
Because. Are you my friend? So. Yes. Easy to talk to you.

Chris –
Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. You know, when I met you, it was because there was another agent that we knew that I had known, you know, for a long time. And she said I’m now tied to a new team. I want to introduce you to them. And you guys came in and it was a little intimidating when you guys walked into the room because you weren’t giving us a lot and it was very stoic. And then I got to know you really, through watching your social media and your stories and it’s like in the middle of August, you’re out hustling, knocking on doors in every daughter with you. And it’s a side of hustle that I think most people are afraid to put into it. And when I say knocking on doors, I don’t know if it’s because you’re doing an open house and therefore you’re going to go talk to all the people in the neighborhood, is that a part of your normal process?

Stephanie –
Absolutely. So any time I take on a new listing, yeah, I deliver gifts and invite the neighbors to our open house. And you.

Chris –
Deliver gifts to the.

Stephanie –
Neighbors? I deliver gifts to the neighbors. And this is usually something just in a little bag or in a box or whatnot, but it’s something that says, Hey, I’m the agent for X, Y, and Z house. We’d love to invite you to the open house that we’re having this weekend. Then I deliver those gifts to between ten and 15 of the neighbors. It just depends on the neighborhood and the closest proximity of the homes. But then I also fly over by foot, the closest 200.

Chris –
Homes, the closest 200 homes.

Stephanie –
And I do that.

Chris –
In the middle of August. Yes. You know, it’s like 120 where it was it was terrible. This year.

Stephanie –
Yeah.

Chris –
And so you’re not you’re you’re just it’s a part of your process. You’re like, it’s going to be hot. It’s going to suck. Yeah, but I’m going to do it.

Stephanie –
We got to hit it early. Yeah.

Chris –
You tell the people that you are that, that is listing with you like that, that they’re going to get this type of service.

Stephanie –
Absolutely.

Chris –
Because I don’t know why they would hire anybody else.

Stephanie –
Correct. And the funny thing about this is that when we actually have the open house and then the neighbors start to come in, they say no one has ever done anything like this before. I’ve never had somebody give me a gift and invite me to the open house and then bam, we have another connection with somebody.

Chris –
That’s amazing. Yeah. I mean, it’s all about like for me, I’m in the business of making connections and networking, and so whenever I meet someone new or I cold call somebody and, you know, if you are cold, call it the same thing as door knocking, you’re not going to get a lot of people that answer the door. Right. But if you answer the door, we’re talking and that’s just not you’re now you’re not a potential client. And so for me, I’m the same way they go into my database. We have a relationship. I’m looking at their social media and we’re going to go deep, right? So it’s it’s the way that the world works in making those connections. But one of the things that drew me to your content was the fact that you would sprinkle in I don’t know if you know this, but you would sprinkle in keywords that resonated with me and when I talk about keywords, I’m talking about mental health type of things like you would talk about, you know, trauma and, you know, recognizing a narcissist and, you know, those sort of things. So that’s when it started to pique my interest. Like, I want to know what you’re about. Like there’s something that happened there. And as we were talking, you were telling me about your journey.

Chris –
I think it was like 18 years or something like that, that you had a real estate license. But most of that you were out hustling money at a bar, being a waitress. And then at some point, you went all in on a real estate license. And so and it was part of that was from you being broke and so let’s let’s can we go back there? And before we do, I want to tell everybody. So the breakthrough, the podcast breakthrough, you’re successful, you’re making good money and you’re living a good life right now. You’re providing a good life for your daughter. But it wasn’t always like that. And I don’t necessarily want to celebrate today the breakthrough and that it happened. I want to go back to when it wasn’t there, and I want to get I want to transport you back because there’s somebody listening right now that needs to hear this story and know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Yes. So it might be emotional. It might you know, it’s going to be vulnerable. It’s going to be raw.

Chris –
But in order to really get to the essence of what was happening to you, then I have to transport you back there to really get to what was it like. So tell me about a time when if you can go back to it, where you’re sitting somewhere alone, you don’t realize you don’t have money and you have to figure out the next step so that you can provide for your daughter. What was that like for you?

Stephanie –
Oh, boy. So I would say one of the toughest moments that I’ve had in that scenario was when I was bartending at Stingray Sushi up at the Scottsdale Quarter. I had been single away from my daughter’s dad for about a year and a half, and my mom was paying my rent on a condo, like I had no money because when I left him, he had cut off all funds from our joint checking account and like the funds from my dad’s estate when he passed away were in that checking account. So he basically left me with nothing.

Chris –
Wait, so. So you’re you’re in a relationship with somebody? You guys weren’t married, right? Correct. Do you have a daughter together? Mm hmm. And the relationship goes south.

Stephanie –
Yes.

Chris –
And at that very moment, he’s. I don’t know if it’s smart. It’s a shitty thing to do, but he cuts you off.

Stephanie –
Yes, he cuts me off. Right.

Chris –
And. And you’re. You’re out. You don’t have any money.

Stephanie –
I have nothing.

Chris –
Did you have a job, then?

Stephanie –
No. Okay. Because I had been a stay-at-home mom. We decided that I would stay home for the first two years of my daughter’s life. So during that time, we decided we couldn’t be together and we weren’t married, but we needed to break up. And it was my decision to leave. Okay? And I think he probably didn’t like that.

Chris –
And she was too, at this time, almost two. So she’s almost two. You’re at the point you’re like, okay, I need I need to get out of this.

Stephanie –
Yes.

Chris –
And how did you tell him?

Stephanie –
I just told him I’m not attracted to you anymore.

Chris –
Oh, okay.

Stephanie –
I mean, it was it was. Yeah. I can’t do this anymore. Yeah. You know, and I listed out the reasons, and he said, Do you want to go to therapy or counseling together? And I said, No, I was way past that.

Chris –
But that’s like my biggest fear in the world. But like as a, as a, as somebody married like that, it’s it’s not even workable anymore. Right? You know what I mean? Like that it’s you’re at though you’re at the point of no return.

Stephanie –
But think about how long it has to take to get to that point. You know, and I’m really a communicator. And when I’m with somebody who’s not a communicator, that’s when we have a lot of issues. And because my dad, you know, this goes into the trauma because my dad was a bona fide narcissist and didn’t communicate with me as a loving father, I always end up in these or I used to end up in these relationships where I didn’t get the communication that I needed from my partner.

Stephanie –
They were like emotionally unavailable like my dad was. And that was the same case with my daughter’s dad. Got it. So anyway, so we end up in this situation. I need to leave. I call my mom. I’m like, I have no money. I have no access to our joint checking account. And immediately she was like, Just find a condo, I’ll help you. Well, then, so we found a great little condo, two bedrooms, two bathrooms real close to where I live now in Scottsdale. And, um, and I also needed to get a job because I had nothing. I’ve been licensed as a realtor since 2006, but my license was inactive and I needed money yesterday, So I needed money right away. So one of my girlfriends worked at Stingray Sushi at the Scottsdale Quarter and she said, Hey, come apply over here. We’re looking for a night. Bartender. Okay. Well, I had waitressed at nightclubs before, but I had never actually bartended.

Chris –
Before because that’s a different. Right? There’s a difference between delivering the drinks versus making the drinks.

Stephanie –
Oh, yeah. So I walked in and I interviewed and I was happy and bubbly and smiling, and he was like, When can you start? And so I partnered with the head bartender and they taught me how to make drinks and whatnot. And I was just really hopeful that people wanted things like vodka soda. Yes. And beers so I wouldn’t have to make anything for what’s.

Chris –
What’s the worst drink that is like every time I go somewhere a side story, I started drinking black coffee because that’s the quickest drink you can get at Starbucks. They don’t make you wait for it. They just they just give it to you.

Stephanie –
Yeah.

Chris –
And I was like, because I used to drink milk and then you have to wait. And then so then when I get in line behind somebody and they, like, read, their whole order annoys me. But the drink, What’s the Cuban drink? It’s a no mojito. That’s like the worst drink that somebody can.

Stephanie –
Yeah. It’s just anything mixed. Yeah.

Chris –
You get, you get a muddle that right in the game, and Yeah. So I’m just like really guys you’re going to you’re I got to stand behind it. I just want a beer. Just give me a beer at this point. But yes. So they’re those are the hardest drinks. So yeah, vodka sodas are probably the easiest. But during the time that you worked there, we were talking to you. You said like 2013. Yeah, that was my place. That I would do all my interviews.

Stephanie –
Oh, that’s so Scottsdale quarter.

Chris –
Yeah, that one. That’s why I was like, Where? When? What year was this? Because I was in that place for lunch every day, almost, you know, so crazy.

Stephanie –
Every, once in a while I would actually pick up, like, a lunch server schedule too. Yeah. So, yeah. And I loved serving. I didn’t love bartending. Although I think the money was probably better. I loved serving. Serving. Now I think it’s because I could actually interact. Yeah. Interact a little bit more. And you’d think the bartender standing behind the bar could interact more. But for me, it wasn’t that. Wasn’t it? I really like serving well. I have a theory or effort.

Chris –
I have a theory, and I think you fall into it, you know, and I think a lot of my friends in life are kind of in the same similar boat is that those who started working early in life and you did like right when you turned 16, you said you were working in a pizza place.

Chris –
So did I. But I always have this thought process that people who work early, it’s probably because they need to. And for me, it was like I didn’t grow up with a family with money. And so I needed like I wanted to have things because that’s right around the time you start to get you want to be fashionable, you want to buy things and my parents weren’t going to give me money to do it. So I was like, the only thing to do is go get a job and have some freedom. And so you did that at 16. And a question for you is, do you think that that really helped? Do you understand the work aspect of life and how to get into it and hustle?

Stephanie –
Oh, 100%. I think everybody should have some sort of service industry job because it really gives you a deeper understanding of what it takes to help people.

Chris –
Well, it’s a weird thing you said, because, for me, I feel like I was always kind of good with people, but what I learned was process. So I remember when I first started, I worked at a pizza place similar to yours. There was a process for closing. I mean, it was a step-by-step. You had to clean this, you had to clean that, You had to wipe down this.

Chris –
Then you had to go vacuum. Like there was a very specific. So I remember you don’t skip steps. It’s like you have to do it in a sequence. And there was a reason for that. And I remember like, now I manufacture loans for a living, right? Like there is, there’s, yeah, there’s all these steps. And if you skip one, you’re going to have a problem or if you rush one, you’re going to have a problem. And so those things really helped me. But for you it was hustle. And, you know, that was really when I look at what, you know, part of why I wanted to have an on the podcast is because you have this amazing story, but you have this mom hustle that you know, like like just the fact that you could probably list a house today, you can slap it on the MLS and you will you might have a buyer for it, but you take it ten steps above that, right? No matter where does that come from for you? Like in your opinion, who taught you that that that mechanism of if you’re going to do an open house, you do it the right way and this is how you’re going to do it?

Stephanie –
Oh, my gosh. I don’t even know who taught me that. I don’t know.

Chris –
You just picked up these ideas, right? Yeah. That’s amazing.

Stephanie –
Yeah, I just. I just feel like I should provide the best service possible no matter what I’m doing, okay? And I don’t. I don’t ever want to be looked at as a person who’s lazy. Yeah, And, you know, I see a lot of people who do things a little bit differently, and I feel like I just want to elevate my service. Yeah. No matter what industry it is like, I was not a wonderful bartender, but I made great money there. So because I figured out how to make it work.

Chris –
How to make it work for you. Yeah.

Stephanie –
Yeah, exactly.

Chris –
Amazing. So, let’s go to let’s kind of flip it back to, you know, going back to the point where you’re without money, your mom’s helping you out at this point, and then you know, how when did you finally feel like you were on your feet, like you were not at a place? I don’t know if you and for a lot of people, it’s hard to ever get there. But because even now with your success, you’re like, there’s something in the back of your head saying, I need to get more. There’s more out there. But for you, where, where, how long did it take from the moment that you realized that he had cut off all your accounts to, you know, a point where you felt like you were stabilized?

Chris –
How long did that take?

Stephanie –
It was probably around the year 2018, or 2019. And I was actually back in real estate again because while I was bartending, I still wasn’t making enough money to pay my bills to pay my rent, to get food for my daughter. You know, it wasn’t like I was working in like a happening nightclub where there were where there was money being thrown around. I was at a sushi bar. Yeah. And I didn’t because I had my daughter full-time. I have her about 90% of the time. And I have since her dad and I have split up, you know, I had to figure out how to work my schedule around her being home with me, too, so. Got it.

Stephanie –
So anyway, one of my girlfriends whom I had gotten my real estate license in 2006 happened to come into the sushi restaurant. Interestingly, Sushi. And she said, hey, you know, why don’t you think about getting back into real estate? And I was like, Oh my gosh, Scary, because I won’t get paid right away. I won’t have money right away. How would I be able to feed my daughter and myself she presented this idea to me and she said, hey, you know, I’m working on this team right now. We do get leads from a lender. I’m doing really well. I’m closing, you know, two or three deals a month, and I know we’re hiring another realtor. And she said I wouldn’t present this to you if I didn’t think that it’s something that you could do.

Stephanie –
Got it. So I ended up having an interview with the owner of the team and he hired me a couple of days later I quit working at the sushi bar and I started my career in real estate again. So I had to activate my license and do whatever I needed to do for that. And I was working now on this team where we were given leads from a lender and the first month that I was on that team, I had to basically shadow my friends so that they knew that I knew what I was doing. And then as soon as he felt like, you know, he would be comfortable with me taking the leads, which only took about three weeks, I started getting leads and I closed three of those leads that I got the next month. Oh, wow. Because I was so determined to make real estate work for me I really didn’t have another choice. So I had to figure out how to make this business model of this team work for me.

Chris –
Now. Now, you had, you know, when you were doing this, how long did you were you on this team?

Stephanie –
I was on that team. Gosh, I want to say 2000, 14 to 2021.

Chris –
That’s a long time. Right. And you were closing tons of transactions.

Stephanie –
Transactions.

Chris –
And you were getting paid like where you’re getting paid normal commissions on these.

Stephanie –
No. And, you know, I would be posting all of these sales and stuff on social media. Yes. One year I closed 65 homes and I didn’t even make $200,000 off of those 65 homes because we were being paid a salary plus a bonus for every home that we sold. If we sold three or more homes a month.

Chris –
But you’re making like six figures. You’re making good money. But when you do the math on what a normal realtor would do on that, you’re just like.

Stephanie –
Whoa, yeah, it’s crazy, right? So I worked that way for a long time and I was just able to figure out the system and, you know, I was able to to gain repeat clients and make new friends. And I was completely fine with it for a long time. And I remember going to Nordstrom one day and I was like, I can actually spend money here and actually able to go and buy myself clothes. I have savings and I was pretty proud of myself. And then also only two or three years in.

Chris –
So this is a really good point. Like, you know, most people who get into lending or into real estate go right into it and sink or swim. But when you have the ability to work Transaction 65 transaction is high volume transactions. Yes. When you have the ability to do that, you’re learning so much, you’re learning about property, you’re learning about contracts, you’re learning about things that can go sideways. So for the 65 closings, you had, there were probably 100 transactions that had to get you there.

Stephanie –
Oh, definitely.

Chris –
Right. Or more. And so the fallout of that is equally as tough. But the reason I bring it up is because now there was a point where you woke up and said, this is I can go out on my own.

Stephanie –
Yes.

Chris –
So where did that confidence come from for you to say, okay, it’s now time to get to do my own thing now?

Stephanie –
Well, I got to the point where I just wanted to facilitate relationships and maintain relationships with the people that I was working with. But I was in such a high transaction and high volume work environment that I wasn’t able to do that. And, you know, I had received an email, I was sitting in my car one day and I received an email from somebody in the company that I worked for and it just wasn’t it wasn’t very nice. It was basically more like you guys can do better. You, as real estate agents can do more and you can do better. And I just remember thinking to myself, I can’t do anymore. Like I’m managing so many transactions so many contracts and so many clients on my own right now. I physically can’t do anymore and then also have a child and try to take care of myself. And this email came through and I just was sitting in my car and I just started to cry. I was so upset by this email and I just thought to myself, I have to get out of there. And for about a year prior to that, I started saving money because I was in a position where I could actually save some money.

Stephanie –
I bought my house in 2020 which was a great decision for me because I was able to manage my finances that way and so I bought my house. I started saving money and I had a little nest egg saved up so that I could leave when I needed to. And I knew at some point I needed to. But this email came through and I just sat in my car and I cried and I messaged the brokers of my current brokerage I’m sorry, the owners of my current brokerage, who I consider very good friends of mine. And I said, Hey, I got to get out of here. And they said, You know what, Stephanie, we want you over here. So I quit. I severed my license with that team and I went over to my home group, which is where I’m now, and I’m so thankful.

Chris –
So that was like the catalyst of, you know, realizing that you had what it takes to be on your own because there are two types of loan officers and there are two types of realtors. There are those who buy leads or get them purchased for them and therefore make very, you know, a very small percentage of the transaction is high volume, small percentage and then there’s those that are relationship driven. You know, they’re they’re aggregating leads from their database and are not aggregating as bad words. I should say. They’re getting leads from their database and from who they are, their social media, word of mouth, you know, marketing, relationship, prospecting, all those things, which is hard. I mean, that is hard that is the hardest thing to do in our job.

Stephanie –
And so finding unions is the hardest thing.

Chris –
Finding clients is the hardest thing. But then you take it a step further. So there’s there’s almost three parts to what you do. There’s the prospecting, which is finding clients, then it’s landing the transaction. If you find it, if you find the listing, which is already hard enough to do, to begin with, then you got to go and do all the work to get the listing sold and then you got to get into the transaction, right?

Chris –
Which is the 30 days or more where it can go sideways. Right. So you’ve, you’ve been really good in all those three aspects. And you mentioned to me with the number of transactions, hundreds and hundreds of transactions, you don’t have an assistant, I mean, you don’t have a, you don’t have a closing coordinator or like.

Stephanie –
I’ve never had a transaction.

Chris –
A transaction coordinator.

Stephanie –
And in all of my years of real estate, I’ve never had a transaction coordinator. I don’t even know what that’s like. This is Bob, and I’m so I’m so systemized in everything I do. Once I get a property under contract, if I’m representing the buyer, I open escrow right away. I’m not going to wait a day or two. I order the home inspection like I have everything under control. Well, it’s just done.

Chris –
Yeah, but. But do you feel like that holds you back from scaling? Like, in other words, for every hour? Well, let me ask it this way. For every hour you spend doing something that is monotonous, logging into your computer to go into your portal to pull a document, you know, you already have a template, I’m sure. And then you got to fill out all that. That process right there for the amount of transaction you’re doing is hours upon hours upon hours that you could spend prospecting. So tell me about that.

Stephanie –
I would say it would only be hours and hours and hours upon time if I hadn’t done it so much. I’m so quick at it.

Chris –
Because you have so many.

Stephanie –
Yeah, it does good. It doesn’t take me any time to do. I mean, it takes me like 2 minutes to do all of this stuff. I have everybody lined up and I know exactly what I’m going to do.

Chris –
Interesting.

Stephanie –
So I have it done within literally a handful of minutes.

Chris –
I mean, I think that there’s something to be said about the person that is willing to do that because there are things that I see are monotonous and I immediately pull them out of my business. But I do trust somebody, you know, who’s willing to do it themselves. Like you’re only dealing me my biggest aggravation and I think there’s people who get aggravated with me on this is people that work with me. They’ll say, Hey, you know, I want to meet with you about something like, Yes, but call my person that manages my calendar cause I’m terrible at it as you witness, because every time we’re meeting, I’ll like I’ll try to schedule it, and then it’s just a mess like I’m traveling that day or something. So. So from that perspective, you own that entire process and people appreciate that.

Stephanie –
Absolutely they do. And they trust that. I know that I’m going to get everything done in the timeframe that I’m going to that we have to get it done. I also don’t keep a calendar. So I remember all of these time frames.

Chris –
I really just feel like you’re going to be a one-percenter or the top of your game in Arizona the moment you leverage that because but, but this, but this is actually really good because I trust I trust more the person that’s willing to do it. That is not going to happen because like I was saying, I get annoyed when especially when I was a loan officer and I had assistants calling to get updates, I would always ignore the assistant. I’m like, I don’t deal. I deal with the realtor on this trip. I don’t know who the transaction coordinator is or whatever, you know, but it’s a part of the I mean, it’s the only way to scale. And so in some cases. So I want to go back. You said something kind of glazed over it. You said I recognized a narcissist because my dad is a narcissist. So what is a narcissist and how do you how do you identify them?

Stephanie –
Oh, boy. Well, my dad was definitely a narcissist. He was he had a lot of depression issues. He had a lot of highs and lows. There really wasn’t anything in the middle. And he so my parents divorced when I was three years old. And I went to live with my mom full-time. And my mom would call my dad and beg him to come take me so that she could just get a day alone. Okay. Well, I mean, she’s it’s it’s hard being a single mom. And I, you know, I would never hold that against any mother. Oh, I need a little bit of time. She just wanted a little bit of time to herself, so I would pack my little suitcase. That was navy blue with a rainbow on it. Like, I vividly remember this, and I would just wait by the door for my daddy to show up and he never showed up. And he was out drinking at the bars and doing whatever he was doing with women. And he also cheated on my mom a lot. So his childhood was very traumatic and his dad was not emotionally involved. And there were some other things there, too. But I ended up going to therapy about four years ago and I went to therapy for narcissistic abuse.

00:28:07:23 – 00:28:20:02
Speaker 1
Well, I’m sorry, I don’t want to get you emotional, okay? But I go back to have you ever done any work around you? Just talking to that little girl around like, hey, you know, it’s not your fault.

00:28:20:04 – 00:28:24:19
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay. My therapist has helped me.

00:28:24:21 – 00:28:27:12
Speaker 1
Really go through that process. What was that like?

00:28:27:14 – 00:28:32:00
Speaker 2
I mean, it was tough. It was tough. It’s something that I think about every day.

00:28:32:02 – 00:28:47:10
Speaker 1
So is it true that when you grow up in a with around somebody who’s that way with you, where you’re in a constant like trying to grasp for attention?

00:28:47:12 – 00:28:48:04
Speaker 2
Love.

00:28:48:06 – 00:28:59:19
Speaker 1
Love and attention and why am I not good enough? All those things that you somehow in a weird way become attracted to other men like that in your in your in from a relationship perspective.

00:28:59:21 – 00:29:19:15
Speaker 2
Yes. And that’s because that’s all that I knew love was. And I think when you have when you’re a child and you have a male figure in your life like you’re going or especially being a little girl, you know, I searched for the way that my dad treated me in my adult years.

00:29:19:17 – 00:29:31:03
Speaker 1
Not knowingly. This is very subconscious. You were like, trying to relive that emotion, right? So weird, right? Yeah. Why d why do you think that happens?

00:29:31:05 – 00:29:54:14
Speaker 2
I have no idea. I have no idea. But I actually ended up dating somebody for several years who was also a narcissist. He does know that he’s a narcissist. And we’ve had lots of discussion about it and so on and so forth. But he looked like my dad. He treated me like my dad. It was very strange. When he and I broke up, that’s when I, I was actually at one of the lowest points in my life.

00:29:54:17 – 00:29:55:12
Speaker 2
I was like, What is that?

00:29:55:12 – 00:29:58:21
Speaker 1
What does that mean? The lowest point in your life was give me where you were at.

00:29:58:22 – 00:30:18:04
Speaker 2
Well, he didn’t when he broke up with me and he told me when we broke up that he didn’t want to be a stepdad. And we’d been together for five or six years and he didn’t want to be a stepdad. And he felt like my daughter was an extra chromosome. And if I didn’t have my daughter, we would have the perfect relationship.

00:30:18:06 – 00:30:40:12
Speaker 2
Wow. So it put me in a state of thinking no one’s ever going to love me because I have a child and I’m a single mom. And I was depressed because of this. But I also felt like he didn’t give me any closure because I found out that what he was saying wasn’t necessarily true. He was actually dating someone else.

00:30:40:14 – 00:30:46:21
Speaker 2
So he took my position of being vulnerable and used it against me.

00:30:46:23 – 00:30:49:18
Speaker 1
So when you say your position of being vulnerable.

00:30:49:20 – 00:30:54:20
Speaker 2
Just that he had broken up with me and now I was like, you know, he knew that I would be devastated.

00:30:54:20 – 00:30:57:01
Speaker 1
Got it. Because, you know, you weren’t vulnerable for having a.

00:30:57:01 – 00:30:58:07
Speaker 2
Child, right? Okay. Okay.

00:30:58:09 – 00:30:58:19
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:30:58:21 – 00:31:21:21
Speaker 2
Definitely. But he was using something that he knew would hurt me against me so he manipulated the whole situation to his benefit. And he may even think it’s true just to make himself feel better. And that’s what narcissists do. Yeah. You know, he wasn’t somebody that looked in the mirror and was just pretty like I mean, he was really somebody that was emotionally abusive, just like my dad was.

00:31:21:21 – 00:31:22:13
Speaker 1
Interesting.

00:31:22:13 – 00:31:23:05
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:31:23:07 – 00:31:37:21
Speaker 1
And so so then you go and get therapy around this. Like, what was the what was a moment, you know, because this is about breakthroughs, right? So the breakthrough is you go to therapy, you get what you need, you’re in a better place and we’re going to get there.

00:31:37:22 – 00:31:38:20
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:31:38:22 – 00:31:43:15
Speaker 1
But it’s what was happening right before that. What was the catalyst for you to say, fuck, I got to go get it?

00:31:43:16 – 00:32:13:21
Speaker 2
So I do this, this all happened in one day. I was standing in my kitchen in front of my dishwasher and there were like knives in my dishwasher and I was like, I just ended maybe I just end it and I sucked it up that day and I went with one of my girlfriends to a spin class, and I just tried to get through this spin class, but I just started crying and crying and crying through it as a class.

00:32:13:23 – 00:32:14:19
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:32:14:21 – 00:32:34:19
Speaker 1
You were listening to the Breakthrough podcast. We will be right back. Welcome back to The Breakthrough with Chris Martin. And I am sitting here with Stephanie Troy in her Gilberts studio. And Stephanie, thank you. I know we were we were we got to a moment in the last segment where it’s not my intent to get you in an emotional space.

00:32:34:19 – 00:32:57:06
Speaker 1
But I also think that being raw, being vulnerable, and telling your story is really a healing process. You might be in your car after this. Like what the f just happened. But I do feel like this is, you know, the people that are working with you should know your story and people you know it. It’s going to resonate because there’s a lot of people that have gone through that.

00:32:57:06 – 00:33:23:20
Speaker 1
Right? So we left off with talking about, you know, you having feelings of, you know, suicidal thoughts, you know, really trying to read, dig deep to say it’s time for me to get help because you had, you know, somebody had done a number on you from a relationship perspective. And really, you know, I don’t know what the right word is, but mindfuck is a name.

00:33:23:20 – 00:33:44:22
Speaker 1
The word that comes to me, you know, and trick you into believing that, you know, by having a kid, you know, your relationship would have been by not having a kid, your relationship would’ve been better. And so now here you are and you decide to get some help. What was that like and how did you identify that? That was like the person to go to and.

00:33:44:22 – 00:33:57:13
Speaker 1
NARCISSE Because I feel like in the last couple of years, I started to hear that word being thrown around. It’s kind of like gaslighting and all those things. I think it’s all kind of the same in the same gist, but like, what triggered you to go get help from this?

00:33:57:13 – 00:34:21:04
Speaker 2
So while I was in this relationship, I actually started studying narcissism because I had a feeling that my boyfriend was a narcissist. I started reading books about narcissism and some things that had happened in his childhood really pointed to him being a narcissist. And then so when he broke up with me and I, you know, I was very, very depressed and I really knew I needed some help.

00:34:21:04 – 00:34:44:20
Speaker 2
So I reached out to a girlfriend of mine who I know is a therapist, and she referred me to somebody who deals with narcissistic abuse. Actually, the therapist that I went to, does a narcissist, an actual narcissist, and then she helps narcissistic. You know, what’s your neighbors? Oh, my gosh, I can’t remember now. It’s been like two years since I’ve gone to her, but she’s amazing.

00:34:44:22 – 00:34:46:06
Speaker 2
Okay. Yeah.

00:34:46:08 – 00:35:17:10
Speaker 1
So. So you go to this, you go to this therapy and you start to if things start to become clear, like not just how to heal yourself, but how to identify. Oh, yeah. And start to realize that you’re kind of looking in an odd way for more narcissists because it’s what we attract, right? Like, I think, you know, not only in business, but you start to work for narcissists, you start to have clients that are narcissists like you attract what you want and which is a weird thing.

00:35:17:10 – 00:35:28:09
Speaker 1
Like you walk in a room and you’re like, I’m attracted to that person because they’re a narcissist. Oh, yeah. And then you almost have to reprogram your head to be like, That’s not what I do.

00:35:28:10 – 00:35:52:20
Speaker 2
Yeah, my therapist actually said that she, she, she was talking about the men that I used to like, and she said it’s basically like a pair of Payless shoes with a Gucci sticker. So almost like I was image-driven. And then, you know, they would present themselves as something that they just were not interested in. But I was like, so drawn in by that image.

00:35:52:22 – 00:36:27:16
Speaker 1
Wow. So it well, I think it’s I think it’s it’s an interesting thing they say image because I think it’s an energy, it’s a confidence in. The room you know it’s a lot of those things that that that might come for the narcissist right or the other person. But I will tell you that I was reading a really good book around this and they were talking about, you know, you’re going to walk into parties, you’re going to walk in two places, and the first person you’re attracted to is probably the wrong person, because that especially if you have a history of dating, being in, you know, abusive type of relationships.

00:36:27:18 – 00:36:55:14
Speaker 1
And they were like, but the person that you might think is boring or sensible, it’s it’s like it’s like the waves. You got it. You’re you’re going to be in the waves for a little bit. And then you got to get past the breakers. And I want your pass to Breakers. You’re fine. But if you don’t give yourself that option to, to, you know, to find the right person because the right person for you might be boring and at first and way too sensible.

00:36:55:16 – 00:37:04:20
Speaker 1
Right. And so so how did you reprogram her? So how did she help you get out of it to start to say, okay, I’m going to stop dating narcissists?

00:37:04:22 – 00:37:08:17
Speaker 2
She wanted me to stop dating at all. Yeah. Like I just needed to be.

00:37:08:17 – 00:37:09:02
Speaker 1
With you.

00:37:09:06 – 00:37:09:16
Speaker 2
To be.

00:37:09:16 – 00:37:09:22
Speaker 1
With.

00:37:09:22 – 00:37:29:14
Speaker 2
Yourself. I needed to figure out who Stephanie was. Yeah. And what Stephanie likes and what Stephanie likes to do for fun. Was that hard and really just not really? Okay. Not really. I think was at the point that I was just so overwhelmed with, you know, being just in my past relationship that I just wanted nothing to do with anyone anymore.

00:37:29:14 – 00:37:32:01
Speaker 2
I wasn’t trying to date or anything like that.

00:37:32:03 – 00:37:46:21
Speaker 1
What kind of parallels did you find in your relationships that also played out in your work situation? Did you find that you were attracted to clients like you were landing clients that were narcissists, or did you know that you worked with people that were that way?

00:37:46:23 – 00:37:48:23
Speaker 2
Just the people within my office.

00:37:48:23 – 00:37:50:16
Speaker 1
I got it. You started to notice that.

00:37:50:18 – 00:37:58:19
Speaker 2
I noticed a pattern with, like, the person that I worked for. Yeah. Had the same, same kind of personality.

00:37:58:21 – 00:38:04:02
Speaker 1
What were you attracted to that in the beginning? Like when you first started working there, you were like, Oh my gosh, it’s going to be amazing.

00:38:04:02 – 00:38:20:06
Speaker 2
Okay. Yeah. This grandiose personality makes all of these promises and whatnot. And I remember him telling me, like, just make it, make it, or fake it till you make it. Yeah, fake it till you make it. He literally told me that you started it was probably like my first or second day. Yeah. Yeah.

00:38:20:11 – 00:38:21:07
Speaker 1
So funny.

00:38:21:09 – 00:38:25:01
Speaker 2
Yeah. So fake it till you make it. It’s crazy.

00:38:25:03 – 00:38:50:02
Speaker 1
So yeah, so you so you went in and which a very. You know what what do you want to I mean this is a term for a reason because a lot of people have used it right. It’s such a cliche term, but, it also gives an insight into the authenticity of, you know, the individual. Right and so you’ve made this you know, how would I put this? So when you look at your life and you see, you know, who you were several years ago, the path that it took to get to where you are today, what are three things that you wish you knew then that you know now?

00:39:10:16 – 00:39:24:05
Speaker 2
I wish that I. I wish that I would have known how to stand up for myself. And I wish that I had just taken my taking care of my mental health.

00:39:24:07 – 00:39:45:04
Speaker 1
Talk to me about that, because that’s the thing that I don’t think people realize. And I got to say, like recently I went through my I was I was I got to a point in my in my life where I felt like I was just burning the candle at both ends. Right. And I kept taking on more and somebody who works for me had said, you know, when you get your back against a wall, you start taking on more. It’s like a weird reflex. You have senior to stop doing that. And I was like, That’s why the best advice somebody gave me. But what I did is I started saying no to meetings. I because it’s not necessarily that my back’s against a wall, it’s that I get busier and then I’m saying yes to things.

00:40:09:16 – 00:40:30:11
Speaker 1
So I started just like pulling back and saying like, I’ll look at my calendar in the morning and say, like, get me out of that. Get me out of that, get me out of that, Get me out of that. I can’t do it. It’s just too much. But then I started meditating in the morning like I would wake up five, I wake up at five, and the first thing I do is meditate, because I feel like that helps me and centers me for the rest of the day and then throughout the day, I’m trying to get back into the present. And so mental health for me is like something that you actually have to be intentional about. You have to work at it. You have to, you know, so what are your what are your things that you do like? What are some of the anecdotes that you have for Stephanie that help you get your mind right?

00:40:51:01 – 00:41:11:02
Speaker 2
So every single day I wake up at 5:00 in the morning, sometimes a little bit earlier, and I walk my dogs as soon as it gets light out or as the sun comes up and I have 45 minutes of being out outside in the fresh air, No sunglasses on. Interesting. I want really, I want the sun.

00:41:11:02 – 00:41:14:01
Speaker 1
Well, there’s nothing happening at 5:00. It’s so dark.

00:41:14:03 – 00:41:16:02
Speaker 2
Well, I have a cup of coffee and that’s okay.

00:41:16:02 – 00:41:16:17
Speaker 1
Okay, good.

00:41:16:19 – 00:41:33:18
Speaker 2
Okay. Right now I go out at about six. Okay, Good. Right? Yeah, but I have like a good 40 to 45 minutes to myself with my dogs. Okay? And then I go to the gym as soon as I get my daughter to school. I’m at the gym every single day, like clockwork. Unless I have a meeting that’s too early that I can’t go.

00:41:33:18 – 00:41:34:05
Speaker 2
But I train.

00:41:34:07 – 00:41:36:17
Speaker 1
So you go for a 45 and you go to the gym?

00:41:36:17 – 00:41:37:00
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:41:37:01 – 00:41:37:15
Speaker 1
Oh, good for you.

00:41:37:15 – 00:41:47:18
Speaker 2
Okay. Yep. And then I. I have recently started lifting weights instead of doing a whole bunch of cardio. Cardio? Yeah. And I will tell you that lifting weights makes me feel a million times better.

00:41:47:18 – 00:42:00:17
Speaker 1
I grade. I’m just, like, famished. If I do too much, I’m like, just I’m. It takes too much out of me. If I’m doing too much cardio. Yes, yes. And I totally agree with the word the waiter. I mean, I think you burn equally as many calories.

00:42:00:19 – 00:42:16:08
Speaker 2
Oh, definitely. Yeah, definitely. But I think just having that little bit of muscle mass is so much better for you. Agree. And then I really like I watch what I eat. I know you do, too. And I can be like clockwork sometimes and just eat the same things every day. So. So feels good. But. But good.

00:42:16:10 – 00:42:22:13
Speaker 1
Before you weren’t doing any of these things. What was your life like before you were you started making this time for yourself?

00:42:22:14 – 00:42:42:15
Speaker 2
I would go to the gym, but it wasn’t really with any purpose. Yes. You know, I just wanted to go to go to the gym. I didn’t have like a specific thing that I was going for. Okay. And then, you know, I went out a lot with my friends and stuff and, you know, I don’t drink now. So and that’s just a personal decision for me.

00:42:42:17 – 00:43:00:23
Speaker 2
I, I think my dad had some problems with alcohol and I’ve just seen it like, really ruin the lives of some people that I love. So it’s just a decision that I, you know, I don’t make. But I used to go out and stuff and, you know, drink with my friends and stuff like that. And I just don’t know, when I started seeing my therapist and stuff actually prior to that is when I stopped drinking.

00:43:00:23 – 00:43:07:20
Speaker 2
But, you know, just seeing her really made me feel like I could do a lot of I could make some very positive changes for myself.

00:43:07:21 – 00:43:11:20
Speaker 1
What did your day look like when you skipped one of these things like, Oh.

00:43:11:20 – 00:43:12:11
Speaker 2
My gosh.

00:43:12:11 – 00:43:15:09
Speaker 1
You’re just a complete like, you just notice you’re off.

00:43:15:09 – 00:43:23:17
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. But I’m not somebody who can go to the gym at night for like midday. It’s either morning or nothing. It’s not happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:23:18 – 00:43:36:09
Speaker 1
We’re busy. Yeah. I mean, it’s crazy, Like, I’m. I’m. I used to do it at night. That was the only time I could do it. In fact, to this day, I still think I better work out at night. Oh, but I want to be over it. Like, if I do it in the morning, and then I’m. And then I’m done, you know?

00:43:36:09 – 00:43:40:02
Speaker 1
And whether it’s good or not, it’s it’s irrelevant because I’m doing it so much more at this point.

00:43:40:02 – 00:43:57:13
Speaker 2
You know? Exactly. And when you make it part of your lifestyle and your everyday thing or schedule and routine, you don’t even think about it like this is what I do every day. And then my daughter and I always have a very special hour at night. We keep our phones at home. My Apple Watch isn’t on me.

00:43:57:13 – 00:44:00:02
Speaker 2
And we go for an hour-long walk, just the two of us.

00:44:00:02 – 00:44:02:07
Speaker 1
So we do like an hour 45 plus.

00:44:02:10 – 00:44:19:10
Speaker 2
Oh, wow. And that’s every single day I walk my dogs a day, like for that long. So I get three miles, probably for my dogs. That’s really good. But just having that daughter, that mom and daughter time, so never forget it. No. And she looks forward to it, too. Sometimes she’ll text me and be like, Hey, mom, you want to go for a walk?

00:44:19:15 – 00:44:34:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, I love that. Oh, yeah. And I’m like, of course, you know, we just laugh and we talk. And she told me about school. And I think I really have figured out like, that’s a great way for me to maintain my relationship with my daughter. Oh, with that. Because it’s just one on one time.

00:44:35:01 – 00:44:40:18
Speaker 1
She’ll never forget that. And it’ll, it’ll, it, it may even pass through generations as a thing that she’ll do with our kids.

00:44:40:18 – 00:44:48:05
Speaker 2
And I hope so. So on. Yeah. We have done this since 2017 when I got my little dog Cuddles. Oh, wow. So we’ve done this for a long time together.

00:44:48:05 – 00:45:13:03
Speaker 1
That’s amazing. That’s amazing. So, you know, getting and getting back to the real estate stuff, I want to take us back there because how has your ability to, you know, all these things kind of feel like it lines up with now you’re seeing a lot of success now, you know, with real estate, What are some of the things that you would attribute to your success as a realtor?

00:45:13:03 – 00:45:19:06
Speaker 1
And, you know, being somebody who is growing their business, what has helped you get to where you’re at today?

00:45:19:08 – 00:45:45:09
Speaker 2
Well, I mean, I have a ton of transaction experience from being on the team that I was on for so many years, which is really wonderful. And I know how to multitask really well because of that. And I just think I now have this ability to I people tend to trust me maybe because I do have so much experience under my belt, which is really great.

00:45:45:15 – 00:45:50:05
Speaker 2
But I really like maintaining relationships ups with my clients. That’s really the key for me.

00:45:50:07 – 00:45:59:16
Speaker 1
It relationship is, is everything I can. I can’t agree more. Where do people find you? If they want to do business with you from this story, where do they find you?

00:45:59:18 – 00:46:08:16
Speaker 2
I’m on Instagram, pretty active on Instagram. I’m your A-Z agent. I was in pick up that that you handled in 2014. I was pretty proud of it. Wow.

00:46:08:19 – 00:46:09:09
Speaker 1
Yeah, you’ve had it.

00:46:09:09 – 00:46:13:22
Speaker 2
For that long, I’ve had a couple of people reach out to me. This is probably not legal, but they’re like, Can I buy that from you?

00:46:13:22 – 00:46:14:04
Speaker 1
Are you?

00:46:14:04 – 00:46:25:06
Speaker 2
Seriously not? That is, I have that on TikTok. I have it on YouTube, and I’m not sure if I have it on LinkedIn or not, but I have it on a couple of different profiles.

00:46:25:08 – 00:46:28:02
Speaker 1
How much business do you get from your social media?

00:46:28:04 – 00:46:55:03
Speaker 2
Um, I don’t get as much as I would like to. I think it’s really hard for people or agents to actually get business from social media. But I can tell you that the best way that I’ve gotten business from social media is by running ads. Interesting. And these are very specific ads giving instruction to people that say, you know, if this is the situation that you’re in, then you need to do this X, Y, and Z.

00:46:55:03 – 00:46:55:17
Speaker 1
Interesting.

00:46:55:17 – 00:46:57:12
Speaker 2
Okay. They will reach out to me.

00:46:57:12 – 00:46:59:09
Speaker 1
Is that like a Facebook ad?

00:46:59:11 – 00:47:00:10
Speaker 2
It’s an Instagram and.

00:47:00:10 – 00:47:06:04
Speaker 1
Instagram ad and you’re saying if you if you need this because that’s never hit me. So I’m not in that demographic, okay?

00:47:06:07 – 00:47:09:16
Speaker 2
Because you probably don’t have real estate as an interest in yours. Interesting.

00:47:09:17 – 00:47:12:14
Speaker 1
Okay. So if you have real estate in it, then it hits you.

00:47:12:14 – 00:47:32:09
Speaker 2
So and then what I do is I say I, you know, they’ll message me and I say, Hey, what’s your phone number? So I can text you? And then I’ve got their phone number captured when they message me back and then I give that contact information as long as they give me permission. And we’ve decided that they may want to talk to a lender.

00:47:32:10 – 00:47:33:18
Speaker 2
To Nick. Mm hmm.

00:47:33:20 – 00:47:35:03
Speaker 1
Oh, that’s awesome. Yeah, that’s.

00:47:35:03 – 00:47:35:10
Speaker 2
Awesome.

00:47:35:13 – 00:47:38:15
Speaker 1
Acosta Yes. Nick Acosta for him, too.

00:47:38:18 – 00:47:44:02
Speaker 2
Yeah. So? So he’s actually the lender that I have on the other side of this. Got it.

00:47:44:04 – 00:48:00:01
Speaker 1
Yeah. That’s amazing. So. So, I mean, really thinking through. Well, let me ask you this because there are lenders who are going to hear this. And I think I want to give them something like you’re an agent, you’re well, how often are you getting hit up?

00:48:00:01 – 00:48:00:12
Speaker 2
Oh, my gosh.

00:48:00:13 – 00:48:01:19
Speaker 1
By thirsty lenders?

00:48:01:19 – 00:48:23:23
Speaker 2
Every day. Every day. It’s almost it’s a lot. Yeah, it’s a lot. And I will get hit up on Facebook, and Instagram. They’ll message me, they’ll call me. They’ll call me from other states. And I’m like, I can’t even talk to these this many people. Yeah, but I will tell you, there are two lenders that I really like working with, and Nick is one of them.

00:48:23:23 – 00:48:24:04
Speaker 2
Yeah, we’re.

00:48:24:04 – 00:48:24:17
Speaker 1
Not talking about it.

00:48:24:17 – 00:48:44:01
Speaker 2
Anybody else? Yeah. So. Yeah. Nick Acosta. That’s, that’s it. Yeah, but he offers me a different kind of value than somebody else. Like, I had some guy call me and I actually booked an appointment with him because he kind of made me feel like I was forced to do it. But then I canceled and he was like, you know, we’re like the number one lending, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:48:44:01 – 00:48:47:20
Speaker 2
And I’m thinking, I’ve never even heard of you. So I really don’t believe what you’re saying.

00:48:48:00 – 00:48:49:11
Speaker 1
When we’re agreeable people.

00:48:49:11 – 00:48:50:03
Speaker 2
So yeah.

00:48:50:07 – 00:49:01:02
Speaker 1
So if you, if you, if you get me at the right time of day, I don’t want to let you down. Yeah. And then he backed me into a corner to have a meeting. Of course, I’m going to take the meeting, but. Yeah, but then I’m canceling like, you know, the moment I think about it, so.

00:49:01:04 – 00:49:22:11
Speaker 2
But I need it. I need lenders that will provide extra value for me. And Nick is willing to come sit at open houses with me. He gives me a property report for all of my listings and he’s he really is proactive in contacting anyone who needs help. Yeah, And I know that I can trust him by giving a client’s phone number to him.

00:49:22:13 – 00:49:33:07
Speaker 2
So we know that we’ll be able to run with it and then make that client happy. Potentially get them into a home purchase. Yeah. And then close on the home. And then we’ve got a client for life. That’s the other.

00:49:33:07 – 00:49:45:10
Speaker 1
Yeah. I mean, and then that you. It’s also chemistry, right? I mean, but what, what is the, what are the three things you would tell lenders not to do when they’re trying to prospect you?

00:49:45:11 – 00:50:10:16
Speaker 2
Oh the most annoying one for me is hey can we go to coffee and can I go to coffee with you and pick your brain? That is the number one thing that drives me crazy because, A, I don’t have time to go to coffee with anybody. So unless I know it’s really something that’s going to go somewhere. And I would say as a lender, if you wanted to get business from somebody like me, you would need to send me a client first.

00:50:10:16 – 00:50:27:03
Speaker 2
Okay. I’m not going to send you a client first because I have no idea how you work. Yeah. So because I have, you know, so many people reaching out to me every day, why am I going to send this lender that I don’t know, a potential client? I’m just not going to do that. I don’t really have a third one.

00:50:27:05 – 00:50:32:20
Speaker 1
Well, let’s think about it. But what? It’s something annoying. What’s the most annoying thing that somebody has done to you?

00:50:32:22 – 00:50:49:17
Speaker 2
Okay, One of the other things, I actually have a lender that does this to me right now is he tags me on everything and Instagram and I’m like, Don’t do that. Do not send me your story. I don’t care about your real Don’t do that because now you’re going into my general box. Yeah, I’m never going to read it.

00:50:49:18 – 00:50:52:13
Speaker 2
Yeah, I’m just going to leave it on unread forever because that’s awesome.

00:50:52:13 – 00:50:53:17
Speaker 1
Annoying because you’re.

00:50:53:17 – 00:50:54:20
Speaker 2
Annoying.

00:50:54:22 – 00:51:00:08
Speaker 1
The best. I think if I didn’t know you, I could get you to send me your business by cold calling you.

00:51:00:10 – 00:51:02:05
Speaker 2
Do you think so? I think so.

00:51:02:07 – 00:51:03:14
Speaker 1
Well, so this is what I would do.

00:51:03:14 – 00:51:05:00
Speaker 2
Kind of standoffish on the phone.

00:51:05:01 – 00:51:21:00
Speaker 1
I know, but this is what I would do. Okay? This is. This is my plan with you. First off, I would suddenly start a lot of your stuff and comment on things. Right. But I would be really good about my comments. I would be like, those are cool shoes, you know, like though, like I would say something that you’re not talking about, right?

00:51:21:00 – 00:51:22:13
Speaker 1
Because I want to get your attention.

00:51:22:15 – 00:51:23:17
Speaker 2
Like tattoos.

00:51:23:17 – 00:51:56:12
Speaker 1
The tattoos, right? So you also have really cool. And I wish that we could talk more about this run out of time. But yeah, I think part of your brand is been that you own who you are. When we first met, I felt like there was a little bit of like I was trying to hide. I can even tell by the way that you ended the tattoo and where you ended it, that you were at one point where like, I don’t know that I want to show this, but it’s who you are and it’s something like, you know, it’s something that I want you to be proud of because it’s who you are, right?

00:51:56:12 – 00:52:17:05
Speaker 1
Never hide who you are. But I think it’s it’s a cool tattoo. And I think there’s a lot of meaning behind it from what you were telling me. But the way I would talk about those things, right? And then I would do it for like a month or two months, and then I would call you and be like, I feel like I know you already because we’ve been you know, I’ve been you know, I’ve been talking to you on Facebook.

00:52:17:05 – 00:52:30:20
Speaker 1
And, I have an idea that I want to get your opinion on. Would you be down to talk to me about it? And it’s like five, ten minutes like schedule some time. I know I’m just calling you and you’d be curious about that idea. No.

00:52:30:22 – 00:52:35:07
Speaker 2
Oh, no. I can see where you’re going with it. Yeah, I think I would work with you. Yeah, See that then?

00:52:35:08 – 00:52:47:10
Speaker 1
Then I’d be like, okay, I got an idea, right? And then the idea would be like, You know, I see what you’re doing. I see what I’m doing. And I think we would be better together than apart. Like, what are your thoughts? And like, and then I try to bring you value, right?

00:52:47:15 – 00:52:50:16
Speaker 2
You kind of what you did when we met.

00:52:50:18 – 00:52:51:20
Speaker 1
Yeah, well, but I, but I.

00:52:51:20 – 00:52:52:19
Speaker 2
Still, think of meeting.

00:52:52:22 – 00:53:14:00
Speaker 1
Yeah, but I mean but, but that’s what I would really and I would mean it because, because I do think that people like this is what would lenders get wrong and this is what people prospecting get wrong is that they’re trying to shotgun approach everybody. So the guy that said you let’s do coffee or the girl who hit you up saying, let’s do 50 other people got that and you know that, right?

00:53:14:00 – 00:53:31:19
Speaker 1
Yes. They’re just saying like, okay, if I do it, 52 are going to say yes. And it’s like the guy that goes to the bar and hits on everybody, right? They’re just looking for one dumb person to say yes, and there is somebody dumb enough to say yes. And so it’s a it’s a numbers game for me. I want to take a targeted approach.

00:53:31:21 – 00:53:51:19
Speaker 1
I like you because you have tattoos. You have an opinion. You’re talking about mental health. These are all the things that trigger me to say we need to be in business together. And I don’t think people are looking at it that way. So my advice would be to research. You get to know them. If I called you and said, I don’t understand.

00:53:51:21 – 00:54:13:11
Speaker 1
Something’s weird about your numbers. You did like 65 units in the last ten years or whatever in the last year. And then in 2021, all of a sudden you’re doing this. But I’m seeing you more. What’s going on? And then you’d be like, Well, I got a funny story about that, right? Like, you’d want to tell me a story. And that’s a different approach than just, can we do coffee, right?

00:54:13:13 – 00:54:26:07
Speaker 1
Or can it tag you in something? You know? But yeah, I was just thinking about that because I was like, I want to have people that work with me. They’re like, You could never recruit me. I’m like, I could because I think there’s a way to get.

00:54:26:10 – 00:54:47:10
Speaker 2
It’s because you have somebody you need to look at, somebody on a personal level. Personal and not just business. Yes. So, yeah, you have to look at what they’re doing in their personal life and make comments about that and then have something in common. Yes. Well, it’s kind of like clients. Yes. You know, when you’re prospecting for clients, when you’re doing an open house per se, like you want to find a common ground with somebody without an able to work with them and move forward.

00:54:47:10 – 00:54:49:09
Speaker 2
And if you have nothing in common.

00:54:49:11 – 00:55:03:14
Speaker 1
I agree. Like there are people that there are people that will ask me or hit me up. We did it one time. We were like, Hey, if you want to be on a podcast, set us up as the worst idea ever, because we had people that I had to say, Well, I really, I don’t know what I would talk to you about.

00:55:03:14 – 00:55:20:10
Speaker 1
Like I don’t have a connection with you too. So I have people hit me up on LinkedIn or, you know, something like, Hey, can I be on your podcast? I’m like, I don’t know you. I don’t What would I what would I possibly ask you about? And, you know, so it’s really awkward to be in those situations, but it’s the same thing with prospecting.

00:55:20:10 – 00:55:22:18
Speaker 1
It’s like, I want to I only want to do business with cool people, right?

00:55:22:18 – 00:55:23:05
Speaker 2
Totally.

00:55:23:05 – 00:55:47:23
Speaker 1
Like just if we have chemistry, then and good energy, then that’s what it’s about. So I love your story and I’m sorry that that you know, that you’ve been through the things that you’ve been through. But I also think that if this was a time capsule and your daughter would listen to this, you know, years from now, she would know her mom in a different way for a period of time.

00:55:48:01 – 00:56:11:00
Speaker 1
But also, I think that your clients, you know, hopefully, they get a chance to hear your story because there’s a lot of depth to who you are and who the woman you’ve become. And I’m glad that we’re friends and I’m glad that we got a chance to finally do this. But that’s how it should be. It should be, you know, friends getting together and talking about the struggles and going deep and getting to know each other.

00:56:11:00 – 00:56:12:04
Speaker 1
So thank you for sharing.

00:56:12:05 – 00:56:12:13
Speaker 2
Thank you.

00:56:12:14 – 00:56:16:09
Speaker 1
Such a such an intimate story for me. It means a lot lately.

00:56:16:13 – 00:56:17:18
Speaker 2
Absolutely.

00:56:17:20 – 00:56:19:14
Speaker 1
So tell me your handle again.

00:56:19:16 – 00:56:20:18
Speaker 2
Your A-Z agent.

00:56:20:18 – 00:56:27:01
Speaker 1
Your A-Z agent. Follow her. Get to know her on social media. Don’t tag.

00:56:27:01 – 00:56:28:00
Speaker 2
Her.

00:56:28:02 – 00:56:41:23
Speaker 1
Don’t ask her for coffee. Are giving you the playbook, but don’t use it. But anyway, thank you for doing this. I can’t wait for this to post and get the feedback on it. And you guys, if you want to see what. Can we show your tattoos, by the way, Let’s.

00:56:41:23 – 00:56:42:13
Speaker 2
Look at that.

00:56:42:13 – 00:56:43:00
Speaker 1
Yes.

00:56:43:05 – 00:56:57:14
Speaker 2
Wow. Yeah, I have. I have a full sleeve. Okay. Wanted me to wear something that you could actually see, but I didn’t really want to wear a tank top. So I actually have a full sleeve. It goes up and caps my shoulder. Wow. So, yeah.

00:56:57:14 – 00:57:12:21
Speaker 1
Well, if you’re watching, if you’re watching on YouTube, you can check this out. But Stephanie, you get to know her. Follow her on Instagram, please, because she has really good content. I think the best content that she’s putting out is her day-to-day life. You get to really know who she is through it. So check it out.

00:57:12:21 – 00:57:14:21
Speaker 1
And Stephanie, thank you. I really appreciate it.

00:57:14:23 – 00:57:15:22
Speaker 2
To do so.

00:57:16:00 – 00:57:22:03
Speaker 1
And by the way, we have to thank Fabio because Fabio is always behind the scenes, rocking out and getting us the best content.

00:57:22:03 – 00:57:24:09
Speaker 2
And Fabio didn’t leave. So that means this is good.

00:57:24:09 – 00:57:28:07
Speaker 1
This is a good one. Yeah. When he gets up and walks out, you know, it’s you know, it’s.

00:57:28:12 – 00:57:33:21
Speaker 2
I was like, Yeah. I looked over and he was smiling. At one point you were crying.

00:57:33:23 – 00:57:35:12
Speaker 1
I saw him wipe his eyes.

00:57:35:12 – 00:57:39:19
Speaker 2
So this is you get teary-eyed. And I was like, Oh, gosh, we’re all crying in here.

00:57:39:20 – 00:57:58:18
Speaker 1
This is a tough one, but this is good. Thank you, guys. Thank you for listening today. And by the way, everybody, please, please, please subscribe. Drop me a comment. I restarted the podcast and I need some love. So please smash the like button, subscribe to it, and drop me a comment. I appreciate you guys. Have a good day.